The Scoop on Poop - #13 
By Susan Bashor
Had any action in the kitchen lately? Need a break from the day-to-day doldrums? When’s the last time you’ve had a real action hero over to entertain the family (and nosey neighbors)? Maybe it’s time to call... THE SWEET PEA MAN! YES! THE SWEET PEA MAN! Who can make odors disappear in a single touch from his magic snake? THE SWEET PEA MAN! Who can rescue tiny keepsakes from the belly of the evil kings throne? THE SWEET PEA MAN! Who can make women swoon at the very sight of him (and if you talk real nice will probably give you a swirl around the kitchen)? YES, THE SWEET PEA MAN! What a hero. He fights evil root monsters, rescues stranded toys, fights off wretched odors, restores regularity to plugged drains and yes, dances too. Invite a super hero over today and get some action in your life.
Ok, let’s say you’re not into make believe and that whole action hero scene. You’d rather deal with reality t.v. any day. I can dig it. (Been a while since you heard that huh?) You know, it’s the time of year that wishes come true (and we’ve been on hand to see many wishes granted).
There is no greater reality wake-up call than when you’re entertaining friends and family, say at Thanksgiving, and those slow drains decide TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! Whoosh! You’ve got reality all right. You know, even in this scenario, you’re gonna swoon at the sight of THE SWEET PEA MAN because he’ll rescue you in the end. Well, maybe not your pride. And there’s probably not much he can do about your red cheeks, or the real life poop on the carpet. But hey, the guests will probably find the evening one to remember and talk about for months to come (with as many people as they can find) because you know, we live in Montana and there just isn’t a lot that goes on here. It might be worth the chance.
Go ahead and wait, ignore that gurgling in the toilet. Don’t sweat it when the shower water reaches your knees before you’re done with your “quick rinse”. Everything will be ok. Just remember, if you do call THE SWEET PEA MAN over on Thanksgiving, it will make him happy if you offer him a drumstick after he’s finished clearing the garbage disposal.
Winter is fast approaching. Don’t forget to get your septic cleaned out because neither you nor us, want to be digging it up in the middle of a Montana winter when the ground is frozen but all heck is breaking loose in your house. Maintenance, maintenance, maintenance. Do I sound like a nag? At Sweet Pea, we’ve seen a lot of stuff over the last 9 years (and for years before that) and rather than consider my advice to be nagging, consider it the real deal because I’ve got more stories to tell, than you have the stomach to hear.
Who can take a plunger, smush it up and down? Who can make the brown guys go swishing their way down. The Sweet Pea Man, The Sweet Pea Man can. The Sweet Pea Man can cause he mixes it with luv and makes the brown guys go down.
Until next time Happy Flushing and remember... It’s not glamourous but someone has to tell you! Mention key words “poop scoop” and receive $15.00 off your next septic tank cleaning. Offer good thru November 31, 2002 (and that’s the last offer for the year) but... cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers or coupons.